The Speed of Dark

Some of us are old enough to remember the Pogo cartoon in which a character announced that he didn’t want “ups and downs”–he wanted “ups and upper ups.”  That’s certainly what parents want…kids who keep growing and developing.   When the general trend is upward, and about the typical speed of progression, the “downs” don’t bother parents as much.  But when a child develops more slowly…then the downs are much harder to live with.

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M- is now in his sixth week of living on his own in an apartment in the city.   I haven’t been to his apartment since week four;  R- has picked him up on Friday to come  up here for Friday night through Sunday morning, then R- takes him to church, and then ice-skating.   (The Sunday bus schedule makes it impossible for him to navigate apartment to church, or even count on a bus home from ice-skating.)  Last week, M- managed both legs of the afterschool trip to the ice rink and then home to his apartment.

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This is the start of M-‘s fourth week in his own apartment an hour away in the city.   Yesterday evening, I got email from him saying he had mail from the city, and was supposed to take something to the city offices and have a stamp, but he didn’t know where the city offices were and did not have a stamp in the apartment.   He had sent the email in the afternoon; I checked email after supper.  I phoned to ask him what the mail had been, and was prepared to guide him through whatever it was or deal with it on my Wednesday trip to to the city.   It took awhile to get clear what the mail had been about (note to self–still need more work on comprehension of questions and providing direct answers), but then came the marvel…a milestone indeed.

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Last Sunday,  M- left his keys up here (50 miles from where he now lives) and so after church he had to go to the apartment offices and be let in to pick up his spare keys.   Wednesday, when I was going to the city anyway, I took his keys down to him and tried to get his router hooked up properly.  Had to call for help from techie friends.    By then he had been two class two days.   Thursday,  I took him grocery shopping in the evening–wasn’t time on Wednesday, thanks to problems with router.    I often drive to the city two weekdays, once for voice lesson and choir, and once for fencing practice.  But it had rained, so the yard wasn’t good for fencing, and I did the grocery shopping with M- early enough that I was almost home by nine pm.  This morning, R- picked him up from the apartment to drive him to church.

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It was all moving, actually.  One of us was down there every day (husband on Monday and Friday, me on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday) and M- came home Friday with husband for the weekend.   Or part of it.   Like many college students, he brought laundry to do at home (but he did it, not me.)   Read the rest of this entry »

Sunday we moved the non-furniture stuff into M-‘s apartment.   A couple of trips up and down the stairs, and we were all glad someone else would be humping the bed, chairs, and big round table up there.

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All the furniture to be moved is now at M-‘s present address, ready for pickup Monday morning.

A few more boxes will be packed today.    SO glad we’re moving a twin bed and not a double!   I was able to get mattress and then box springs into the hall myself, while the guys moved the red chair from the old big van into M-‘s present address.   The bedframe had to go out through the window (very wide windows in front of this house) and no panes were broken.    It was a tricky maneuver, as the side rails of this bed do not come off with the tools we have, so the whole bed–with its headboard and footboard–had to be moved in one piece.   R- thought out how to do it and he was right.

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…also known as the last three months.   It’s been a roller-coaster, a whirligig, and a challenge in every dimension, but here we are facing the next with renewed excitement.

First there’s the college situation.   Our son did in fact have problems typical of autists in both the Transition to College and the Reading classes.   It’s worth examining these to see how his autism affected his understanding of (clear to most people) instructions.   He had been working willingly and consistently, so it wasn’t lack of motivation or laziness causing the difficulties.

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At the end of the first exam period–six full weeks of classes–our son took his first “big” exam, in the pre-algebra class.   Since he had work hours this week on several of the days exams were given,  he had to take the exam on a Saturday (not a usual class day.)     He said he felt prepared enough for it…and though students had an hour and forty minutes for it, he finished in 35 minutes with a score of 89.   If that had been the only triumph of the week, we’d all be delighted…but it wasn’t.

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M- has done so well the past few weeks with his cellphone–both making and receiving calls–that I didn’t expect a glitch today.    I phoned him when I reached Austin, to tell him I could pick him up at the bus stop west of Northcross Mall, to take him to supper before ice skating, as it was raining.   R-, who rode with him the first times,  had told me which bus stop he got off at.    I thought M- understood and would repeat what he’d done before. Read the rest of this entry »